I recieved another damned email about OBAMA

what's this got to do with Hannah's Haven?
well, I want to show it to you:

SOME OF THESE THINGS ARE TRUE AND SOME FALSE ACCORDING TO THE SNOPES WEB SITE.
MY ADVISE IS FOR ALL TO PRAY AND SEEK GOD ABOUT THIS ELECTION. WE ARE IN A SAD CONDITION IN AMERICA WITH LEADERSHIP IN WASHINGTON IN ALL OUR OUT SENATES, HOUSE AND WHITE HOUSE. MAY GOD HELP AMERICA TO RETURN AND REPENT TO GOD.
CARLTON
A man will come from the East
All I can say is mighty scary what everything is pointing to. We had better say lots of prayers folks, when it comes to this presidential candidate

MAY WE ALL PRAY FOR WISDOM AND DISCERNMENT AND PRAY FOR EACH OTHER
AS WE MAKE THIS DECISION OF A LIFETIME! OUR LIVES, CHILDREN AND
GRANDCHILDREN'S LIVES WILL BE CHANGED FOREVER BECAUSE OF OUR CHOICE THIS
ELECTION. MAY GOD BE WITH US ALL!

God help us if this man is elected!! But it is all stated
in the Bible and it will happen sooner or later.

This is from Darlene Millican, wife of the pastor
of Trinity Bapt. Church here in Sun City .

I have felt for sometime now that Obama is the
one person that 'Frightens Me'. I believe the Bible has
warned us that 'A man will come from the East that will be
charismatic in nature and have proposed solutions for all our
problems and his rhetoric will attract many supporters!'

When will our pathetic Nation quit turning their back on God and understand that
this man is 'A Muslim'....First, Last and Always....and we are AT WAR with
the Muslim Nation, whether our bleeding-heart, secular,
Liberal friends believe it or not. This man fits every description from the Bible
of the 'Anti-Christ'!

I'm just glad to know that there are others that are frightened by this man!

Who is Barack Obama?

Very interesting and something that should be
considered in your choice.

If you do not ever forward anything else, please
forward this to all your contacts...this is very scary to
think of what lies ahead of us here in our own United
States...better heed this and pray about it and share it.

snopes.com
' confirms this
is factual. Check for yourself.

Who is Barack Obama?

U. S. presidential candidate, Barack
Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu ,
Hawaii , to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM
from Nyangoma-Kogel , Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHEIST from
Wichita , Kansas

Obama's parents met at the
University of Hawaii ..
When Obama was two years old, his parents
divorced. His father returned to
Kenya His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL
Muslim from Indonesia . When Obama was 6 years
old, the family relocate
to Indonesia ... Obama attended
a MUSLIM school in Jakarta . He also spent two
years in a Catholic school.

Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that
he is a Muslim . He is quick to point out that, 'He was once
a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school.'

Obama's political handlers are attempting to
make it appear that that he is not a radical.

Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was
temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to
Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his
son's education.

Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his
stepson to Islam. Obama
was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta .

Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists
who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it is politically
expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major
public office in the United States , Barack Hussein Obama has
joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay
his Muslim background. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was
sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran.
Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegiance nor will he show any
reverence for our flag. While others place their hands over their hearts, Obama
turns his back to the flag and slouches. Do you want someone like this as your PRESIDENT?

Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy.

The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out, what
better way to start than at the highest level - through the
President of the United States , one of their own! The
Bible says 'He will come from among you!'

Please forward to everyone you know.

Would you want this man leading our country?

NOT ME!!!

WITHOUT GOD, WE ARE NOTHING!!!

HERE IS MY RESPONSE TO HER:

so let me ask you a few questions-
is a president who claims to be born again- but lies, steals- and sends our babies to fight his father's war- more of a christian?

the bible says we will know His people by the fruit they bear-

forwarding crap like this junk mail is encouraging rumors that may or may not be truth.

Let's say it is true- that he is the antichrist....

should we pray against the hand of God? Pray against what the future?

I would think that someone in Christ would rejoice at the end coming- for He will come again for those in Him- and there will be a new heaven and earth- without all this evil-

and I would think that those in Christ would not pass around gossip that may or may not be true.

am I voting for him?

no. but I find most politicians to be liars and thieves...

and try to use wisdom when reading and sending junk mail.

Why not write me and ask how we are doing? or get together with the kids sometime- or tell me how you are doing- or your family.


that means more than once a year mass junk emails Kelly-

said in love- don't send me these things anymore.

WHY I SHARE THIS WITH YOU?

This came from a woman who was a member of the church that we attended- a woman with children that are young- a woman whom I onced called friend. A woman who, when she had her twins; I drove a half hour many nights with my own children- to bring meals to and be there for her in love.....

a woman who when we left the church; never asked why.

a woman who doesn't call- or write me emails even- unless it is to invite me to a church performance or to help her in a fundraiser for her daughter's christian schooling.

I NEVER adress these kinds of relationships that were once so intense and real that they were family. WHY?

because I was trained well not to "cause division" in the body of christ- not to leave the church murmuring and gossiping......because I was trained to be afraid to PUT UP BOUNDARIES.

So I pat myself on the back for the return message to this woman........the woman that was like a sister as long as I remained in their group-
who is now a stranger and has no time for friendship except to ask for money or send me MASS emails.......

AND I AM ANGRY ABOUT THESE EMAILS.

It brings me back to the days when the Pastor would mock the democratic voters....
as my husband and I sat silently in church as registered democrats wondering HOW HE COULD TALK ABOUT POLITICS and remain non profit/ non taxed.....

and when I once asked. . . . .

was told, "HE NEVER TALKS POLITICS, HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT"

which of course caused me to doubt myself, hang my head in shame and confusion; and walk away.

Now I know that for what it is; MANIPULATION.

He spoke from the pulpit; he spoke freely....and anyone who disagreed with HIS politics was stupid, idiot, niave or crazy.

We were "in the closet democrats".

WHY?

Why do people take the word of one and make it truth without looking at the facts?

READ this email. . . . OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST ? ? ?

so was Hitler, so was the Pope (according to Luther) and so is BUSH (according to me)

GET A GRIP.

If you believe in the anti christ- and you are a christian- WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT HIM TO COME? IT IS THE FULLFILLMENT OF YOUR OWN PROPHECIES UNFOLDING BEFORE YOUR EYES!

and if you're like me.......

not quite sure what the antichrist thing is all about anymore because there was more EVIL in fundamentalistic cult like christianity than anything I read about regarding OBAMA.

OK, Off my pedastal. Needed to VENT this.

Not saying that I am voting for this guy- just saying "STOP SENDING ME MEAN SPIRITED GOSSIP EMAILS IN THE NAME OF JESUS"

talk about abomination at the alter.

more than anything; it hurts. Her lack of friendship after we left. The abuse that distorted my thinking; the shame that I felt. . . the confusing and conflictual messages....

the fact that I allowed this stuff when I have a brain and knew better . . .

Recovering Born-again christian

When I read through my old mission statement, I cringed.

I am a recovering born again christian.

No, I am not a born again who is recovering.......I am recovering from BEING A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN.

I know that will offend some and I know that will cause some to believe that I am decieved; but that is what I am.

My husband and I walked away from our church group 4 years ago next month.

Sometimes when one is growing, one needs to shed things that don't work.

One needs to walk away from things that aren't truth in order to follow truth.

So the vision for Hannah's Haven has changed even from the mission statement.

What wasn't printed in the blog was the original proposed board of directors that we had in order to make the place a nonprofit ministry. Seeing names of people that I once loved deeply reminded me of what we left behind to follow what we felt was right.

I no longer believe that the church of today is doing what Jesus called us to do.

Or should I reword that to say, I no longer believe that organized religion is the church- if you are referring to the bride of Christ.

I no longer believe that the bible is the inerrant word of God. Seriously. Don't fall of your seat- I'm not evil- I just can't pretend anymore that there aren't contradictions and some really weird and scarey stories in there. Fathers sleeping with daughters and men inheriting their brother's wives....well, is there something wrong with me because I don't get it anymore? Or maybe now I GET IT and I want off of the boat.

Beam me up Scotty.

So, would Hannah's Haven be a christ centered place. Yes, I would like to believe so. But it wouldn't be a place that many christians would feel comfortable with.

I often let my mind wander- and truthfully, I have a really hard time believing that Jesus is the man that modern church leadership is telling us he is.

I don't believe that he hates the homosexual. sorry. It just doesn't make sense with his character.

I don't believe that he wants us to spend days and hours behind church doors with like minded people patting ourselves on the backs because we have arrived because we are born again.

I don't believe that he wants us to tithe and give more than tithe so that there is enough money to build bigger buildings, go on television, or have a better air conditioner for hot sunday worship jams.

sorry.

and the biggest sin that I committ of all?
I really don't believe that Jesus is a republican.

I could go on. The truth is I have a lot of questions about God and if that makes me a sinner, well, better that I sin for having questions than to LIE and pretend to be holy.

Where is this ramble coming from?

A wonderful, sweet, loving woman that I work with was sharing with me why Hannah's Haven isn't being bloomed yet.

She believes that I need to be in a church group, under a covering and from that place the Lord will push this vision out of me.

She further believes that it isn't manifesting because I am self focused on my own vision and not tending to the broader needs of the church body.

hhhmmmm. been there, done that. Served, served, served, served, served and served.

I trusted in God, I sat under the authority of my church leadership, I focused on everyone else's needs to the determint of my own. Seriously. I gave to the building fund, I gave to the collections.......and my own two children had no beds of their own. OKOKOK I am a cosleeper anyway so it wasn't too painful, but my children had needs that I wasn't meeting because I was trusting God by giving to the church first.

When this woman said this, I spent the next 3 days contemplating it.

My conclusion ?

If I have to return to the church, to get under an annointing, to give of myself, my time, my gifts, my money and my family to the level that we were???

Then not only do I NOT WANT THIS VISION, I am pretty sure that I don't want to be in heaven with this God that the church has described.

If what it takes is for me to simply return to church to have Hannah's Haven.......

then I wash my hands of Hannah's Haven and walk away this moment.

without regret or remorse.

Because even though I am not sure about God on many things- I know this- what He isn't is the abusive task master, vampire like God that many are speaking he is....

shame on them.

mission statement

HEPHZIBAH

I. HANNAH’S HAVEN
(Is. 54 & Matt. 2:13)

· Adoption/ foster care
· Child care
· Christian day school for special education


II. CALEB’S CART
(Numbers 13:27 & Numbers 13:30)

· Organic garden
· Therapeutic farming

III. HOUSEHOLD OF ONESIPHORUS
(Is.58, 61 & 2 Timothy 1:16)

· Hospitality ministry
· Home group ministry
· Host special activities
· Retreat & Respite
· Woman’s center
· Life skills center

HEPHZIBAH

Hephzibah is the Hebrew word for “City of God ’s Delight.” In the spirit of God’s abundance, Hephzibah provides three primary areas of ministry; caring for children, therapeutic farming, and hospitality.

Our first mission is to care for the children. We call this ministry Hannah’s Haven. Our short term goal is to foster and adopt children into our family, raising them in the love and instruction of Jesus Christ. Out of the natural growth of this, we then plan to provide respite to families with children of special needs. This would begin phase two. Included in this second phase would be the development of a summer camp program for these same children as well as a before and after school care program. The final phase of this ministry would be to create and staff a full time Christian school for special needs children.

Our second mission is to create an organic garden and therapeutic farm. We call this ministry Caleb’s Cart. The short-term goal of our plan of action is to plant a garden, fruit trees and create a compost system. The second phase of this plan is to add small farm animals such as rabbits, poultry and goats. The third phase is to incorporate therapeutic goals and objectives in working this to service recovery to the children placed in Hannah’s Haven.

Our third mission is to provide within the framework of hospitality; comfort retreat and encouragement to other believers. We call this ministry the Household of Onesiphorus. Phase one of this ministry includes leading the meals’ ministry and serving on the hospital visitation ministry. Phase two would include being used by the home group ministry or to host small group studies. Phase three would include organizing and hosting retreats, alternative outreach activities, as well as using our facility as a overflow building for any life skills classes that are needed through Victorious Living. This would include the construction of a rustic barn upon our property where wood cabinet doors would open containing multi-media training equipment. The rustic barn would host a “tea room” which would be utilized as a woman’s center.

We had a dream

(re-posting from other blog)


HANNAH'S HAVEN

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

that is our question. do we build Hannah's Haven or not?

I believed with all my heart that I heard from God. I believed that He would take the very sword used against me and use it against my enemies. I believed that He would take all the suffering and broken-ness from my childhood and use them as strengths.

I believed that I was called to create Hannah's Haven.

Hannah's Haven was a dream of mine to take in special needs foster kids and give them a "forever family".

We bought a fixer upper of a home because it had 3 acres of land that was surrounded by forest and 6 bedrooms.

We bought it because we BELIEVED God himself called us to do so.

We bought it 7 years ago.................

We planned to plant organic gardens, raise small animals and lovingly embrace our arms around hurting children.

Hannah's Haven is a story of ours that is still unfolding. I want to share it with you all and welcome your opinions.

Did I hear from God?
Did the prophets that prophesied over me tell the truth?
Am I simply being attacked because the enemy knows my calling and wants to snuff it out?
Am I simply not patient enough?
Am I simply CRAZY?

Here is the list of what happened since we bought this home, each has it's own story which I will continue to share:

1)Our son Caleb's head stopped growing. He was about 1 years old. We entered a world of MRIs, Catscans, genetic testing and a place of absolute fear for his life and future.

2)My husband developed an infection in his leg that placed him in a hospital. It wouldn't respond to ANY treatment for over a month. They were watching the infection climb his thigh, worried that if it got into an organ; it would be fatal.

3)We experienced a horrific miscarriage.

4)The local power company decided that our land was their land- and without imminent domain began a plan to build on it.

5)We hired our pastor who was a cabinet maker by trade to redo our kitchen. Apparently that meant he could read from a "home depot how to" book...took our money, left the job unfinished and relocated to California because God told him to.

6)We hired a christian electrician who did what he was paid to; kinda.

7)A very close friend's betrayal nearly destroyed our family.

8)An attempt to leave our church of 9 years caused us to enter a cyclone of spiritual abuse that has left us wounded. Do you know the commercial, "I have fallen and can't get up" ?

9)Every time we dug an area of our land to plant organically, we dug out trash!

10)Every time we repair one room, it starts a domino effect of another room falling apart.

So now I bravely introduce to the world, my family and friends the innermost feelings of our struggles with Hannah's Haven....

hoping that in my monologues I find the strength to stand up and fight for my dream or the wisdom to walk away knowing that I did the best that I could and it's time to find a new dream!

Hannah's Haven

To build or NOT to build that is the question.

I have decided to begin a blog to sort through all the experiences that my husband and I have encountered on the journey of building our dream, Hannah's Haven.

Hannah's Haven was a dream, a vision of ours, our calling.......

and now over 10 years later; we wonder,

"was it God's voice we heard or insanity?"

Comments and thoughts are welcome, so are prayers.......as we journey through the path of deciding if it is time to lay down the dream and let it go.